Film #15: And God Created Woman
Reviewed on January 24, 2012
Okay, your shell shocked observer of 1988 is still recovering from his descent into the film, “And God Created Woman”. The film stars Rebecca De Mornay, Vincent Spano, and Frank Langella.It was directed by schlock king Roger Vadim(Barbarella) and written by RJ Stewart (Xena…hmmm, I had a hard time figuring out what this movie most reminded me of…now I remember)
The Plot:I don’t know if it is worth even mentioning, but I promised you I would review every one of them. The plot is about a girl, Robin Shea (De Mornay) who wants to be a rock star, even though she is in prison. She breaks out, is picked up in a limo by a mysterious stranger (Langella), who brings her back to the prison (where no one is even looking for her?????)…she goes through the gym where she has to change clothes (naturally) in front of a handy man, Billy Moran (Spano). He hides her from passing by staff and they end up becoming good “friends”. Upon returning to her cell, she finds out that the mysterious stranger was James Tiernan, a candidate for governor. So, she calls him and asks him to get her paroled (that is how it always works right?) He tells her to get married and show she is a person dedicated to putting her life right. (Nothing says stability like having a shotgun prison wedding two days before your parole with the handy man who was never supposed to be near the girls in the prison..ahhh plot holes…stop asking questions)
Anyway, she bribes Moran 5,000 dollars to marry her. He does and she immediately turns cold on him “We are business partners now”. She spends the rest of the movie putting together a band that likes to play lite FM raggae hits and try on costumes at the outdoor ampitheater they break into to practice,( Donovan Leitch is Moran’s brother and IN THE BAND!!! You may not know who I am talking about, but as soon as I review the 1988 film project favorite, “The In Crowd”, you will.), treating Billy and his son like dishrags(while teaching Billy the value of family…huh?), and seducing Tiernan. This, of course, ends needlessly in a seduction scene on a pool table with De Mornay and Langella and soft background Cinemax music…yuck and yikes.
For some reason, both Billy and Robin decide they must be together (it must be the intense passion between them that you can see developing the whole movie.No…that cannot be it) at the same time as when Tiernan decides to have her rearrested for whatever reason(oh, she was with her husband in a restoration project and that hurt his feelings)…are there no double jeopardy laws in this country? But, this can’t happen until she puts on one last show at his campaign fundraiser..which she does, and he calls off her arrest.?????????????????????????
The ReviewWhat more can I say? Vadim tried to make this movie into a star vehicle for De Mornay the way that he did for Bardot in the original. Only, poor De Mornay is left with horrible lines and no motivation for anything her character has to do. I usually adore Rebecca De Mornay, and I can say this because the movies she made before this and after this were great(Slugger’s Wife, Hand that Rocks the Cradle(also with Spano), Feds)! Why this picture? Why did they do this to her?!! She got nominated for a Razzie for this! This film suffers from a lack of direction; what do they want it to be? I can tell they wanted to make a picture about a girl who has to struggle to come up from the bottom; how she overcomes prison and being used by men to obtain her dreams on her terms. But, instead they put together a stumbling film that clearly kicked substance to the curb in favor of bedroom (and pool room) scenes. Why else would they have done their best to incorporate slow motion sex scenes backlit with soft lighting and Cinemax late at night saxophone rifs? Even they know the film was not good. On that note, I have a really hard time with Frank Langella being the seducer character.No offense Mr Langella, but you are at your best as the lurking plotter, not seducing young blonde ex cons who have feathery mullets. That is what also is so sad about this movie; it started with such promise with the prison break sequence, until he brought her back and no one cared.The film wants to have intrigue and drama, “a woman torn between two worlds” feel, but it is flat and I just thought she was an awful human being. The lines were over written, the acting was overblown, and the music was as hard core as Jessie and the Rippers on “Full House” (when Jessie would yell “1-2-3-4″ and then his band would play 1950′s doo wap music.) However, Spano was very good.
1 out of 10.(now I am hiding in shame) check it out if you miss USA Up All Night
Here is what Roger Ebert said in 1988 “And God created woman” He kind of liked it.
The Plot:I don’t know if it is worth even mentioning, but I promised you I would review every one of them. The plot is about a girl, Robin Shea (De Mornay) who wants to be a rock star, even though she is in prison. She breaks out, is picked up in a limo by a mysterious stranger (Langella), who brings her back to the prison (where no one is even looking for her?????)…she goes through the gym where she has to change clothes (naturally) in front of a handy man, Billy Moran (Spano). He hides her from passing by staff and they end up becoming good “friends”. Upon returning to her cell, she finds out that the mysterious stranger was James Tiernan, a candidate for governor. So, she calls him and asks him to get her paroled (that is how it always works right?) He tells her to get married and show she is a person dedicated to putting her life right. (Nothing says stability like having a shotgun prison wedding two days before your parole with the handy man who was never supposed to be near the girls in the prison..ahhh plot holes…stop asking questions)
Anyway, she bribes Moran 5,000 dollars to marry her. He does and she immediately turns cold on him “We are business partners now”. She spends the rest of the movie putting together a band that likes to play lite FM raggae hits and try on costumes at the outdoor ampitheater they break into to practice,( Donovan Leitch is Moran’s brother and IN THE BAND!!! You may not know who I am talking about, but as soon as I review the 1988 film project favorite, “The In Crowd”, you will.), treating Billy and his son like dishrags(while teaching Billy the value of family…huh?), and seducing Tiernan. This, of course, ends needlessly in a seduction scene on a pool table with De Mornay and Langella and soft background Cinemax music…yuck and yikes.
For some reason, both Billy and Robin decide they must be together (it must be the intense passion between them that you can see developing the whole movie.No…that cannot be it) at the same time as when Tiernan decides to have her rearrested for whatever reason(oh, she was with her husband in a restoration project and that hurt his feelings)…are there no double jeopardy laws in this country? But, this can’t happen until she puts on one last show at his campaign fundraiser..which she does, and he calls off her arrest.?????????????????????????
The ReviewWhat more can I say? Vadim tried to make this movie into a star vehicle for De Mornay the way that he did for Bardot in the original. Only, poor De Mornay is left with horrible lines and no motivation for anything her character has to do. I usually adore Rebecca De Mornay, and I can say this because the movies she made before this and after this were great(Slugger’s Wife, Hand that Rocks the Cradle(also with Spano), Feds)! Why this picture? Why did they do this to her?!! She got nominated for a Razzie for this! This film suffers from a lack of direction; what do they want it to be? I can tell they wanted to make a picture about a girl who has to struggle to come up from the bottom; how she overcomes prison and being used by men to obtain her dreams on her terms. But, instead they put together a stumbling film that clearly kicked substance to the curb in favor of bedroom (and pool room) scenes. Why else would they have done their best to incorporate slow motion sex scenes backlit with soft lighting and Cinemax late at night saxophone rifs? Even they know the film was not good. On that note, I have a really hard time with Frank Langella being the seducer character.No offense Mr Langella, but you are at your best as the lurking plotter, not seducing young blonde ex cons who have feathery mullets. That is what also is so sad about this movie; it started with such promise with the prison break sequence, until he brought her back and no one cared.The film wants to have intrigue and drama, “a woman torn between two worlds” feel, but it is flat and I just thought she was an awful human being. The lines were over written, the acting was overblown, and the music was as hard core as Jessie and the Rippers on “Full House” (when Jessie would yell “1-2-3-4″ and then his band would play 1950′s doo wap music.) However, Spano was very good.
1 out of 10.(now I am hiding in shame) check it out if you miss USA Up All Night
Here is what Roger Ebert said in 1988 “And God created woman” He kind of liked it.